CARTER'S ARMY: WILLIAM CARTER
1
Chapter 19 - By Christopher Patrick Lydon
December
Absolution is not something a person can easily attain; it isn't
something that can be given freely. Absolution must be earned, in the heart
as well as in the mind. For some men it is impossible to earn the kind of
forgiveness needed to move forward in their lives. They remain trapped within
a single mistake, and exist within it for the rest of their days.
William Carter, son of Major David Carter, closed the book and
stared out of the window at the gentle dusting of snow that fell. It seemed
all it would do was snow for the remaining days until Christmas. He was again
sitting in his customary spot in the library, a refuge from the rest of the
school, putting the finishing touches on his english paper.
Completed and satisfied with it, he examined it, smiling at
the emotion he had put into the paper. It had been a simple examination of
a character in a dusty play, but Will had seen something personal in it; finding
a resonance in it had allowed him to write about it, and what had been a simple
assignment had gotten more complex as he had just lost himself in it.
He struggled to his feet and straightened his simple white shirt.
For the first time since he had been "updated" as Lisa was fond
of referring to his complete wardrobe overhaul, he had worn simple whites.
It was a silent tribute to his cricket days, cool and relaxed. Most hadn't
noticed, except for Coach Thorburn who remembered all too well Will's affinity
with the game.
He tucked the pen away and gave a kind smile to Miss Harriet,
the older lady who kept a careful watch over her precious books. She had originally
been suspicious of Will's near constant presence in her domain, until she
had found him wedged in a corner one day, knees tucked up to his chest, wrestling
with a couple of reference books. She had given him the knowing smile of a
kindred spirit and had left him be after that. Book mice were a strange breed.
Back out of the sanctity of the library and into the realm of
the regular lunch time din, Will felt a little self conscious that he hadn't
spent his lunch with Lisa, but she was off with Charlene and her Harridans
ogling basketball players in the gym.
Will felt a little jealous of that; Andrew liked to spend time
in the gym either playing or watching from the sidelines, a benevolent monarch
ruling over his kingdom. But Will didn't belong there. He had never followed
Andrew to the gym, it wasn't his place. Even though he knew Andrew would never
have complained about it, Will still felt awkward about being too close to
Andrew at school.
It was the last day of the school before the blessed relief
of the break. Will was looking forward to not having to deal with the near
constant looks he got from some of the students. What they didn't say to his
face showed on theirs, and as he passed he often caught the word 'faggot'
thrown at his back. He had never realized how much that word had stung, he
had used it himself, even gone so far as to refer to himself in his own thoughts
as one. But now that it was hurled at him directly, he shied from it. It stung
worse than one of his father's punches. But no one dared use it when Will
was accompanied by one of his friends. Jared was someone no student wanted
to anger, and Lisa was too valuable to one's social career to upset.
Word had spread quickly of Andrew's scuffle with Todd Gadreau,
and no one dared to touch him directly. Cold shoulders he could deal with,
he could even deal with the harsh words, but the prospect of being protected
irritated him still. But he understood why Andrew was doing it, after all
he was...
He stopped and considered that a moment, what exactly was he
now? Most people just wrote it off as Andrew's pet project, that thin academic
kid that needed to be looked after. No one had associated the two of them
as anything more than passing friends. Andrew's mother had even invited him
to join them for Christmas Eve, something he couldn't just pass up, it was
a chance to spend the day with...
"Where do you think you're going?"
Will jumped; he had just been winding his way towards his locker,
that quiet and disused corner of the school that he liked. He fumbled for
a reply, "My locker."
Todd Gadreau was shorter than Will, but was broader. He was
perfectly built for his role as a defenseman and as he blocked Will's path
with two others from the Storm' defensive core, Will had a sudden respect
for any opposing player who had to face them.
Todd remained silent for a moment, studying Will closely, and
Will looked at the three of them. He knew the looks they were giving him,
he had seen it a hundred times in his father's eyes. He was in trouble.
He made to step by them, as the two other defenders, Robbie
Tomlins and Bruce Gautier, grabbed him by the arms.
"Just a minute Carter, you're not going anywhere."
Todd's words were icy-cold and laced with dangerous intent.
"Let me go!" Will struggled against the two older
and more athletic young men. They responded by forcing him up against the
row of lockers
"No one here to save you this time Carter," Todd said,
balling his hand into a fist as his face twisted into a sneer. He pulled his
hand back ready to swing...
The crash caught them all by surprise, a fist impacting against
a locker door rattling it on its hinges. And all eyes turned towards the young
man leaning against the bank of lockers opposite them. His arms were folded
in a casual way, and he flicked cigarette ash irreverently onto the floor.
Brody!
"What do we have here?" he said, taking another long
drag on his cigarette, "What, it takes three tough guys to beat up one
queer?"
Todd swore rounding on the shop jock, "Fuck off; this doesn't
concern you!"
Brody shrugged, "One-on-one, sure that doesn't concern
me. Three-on-one, I call that a party..." he lifted his cigarette, "And
we all know how much I like a party." He took a long drag again, his
eyes glittering darkly.
Todd curled his lip, "Let him go." He commanded, and
his two accomplices released Will.
Will straightened up, a smile playing across his lips, Todd
was going to...
The fist connected squarely with his temple, Will felt it and
staggered slightly but kept his footing. Surprised, Todd hauled off and punched
him again, blinking as Will continued to stand before him.
Years of the fists, years of the backhands, years of learning
to take a blow, counted. The Major was easily twice Todd's size, and definitely
stronger. If he couldn't keep Will down, a high school bully sure couldn't.
Will's own fist knotted as he hit back, catching Todd unprepared for the first
blow.
Todd reeled, as one of his cronies balled up his own fists to
step in. Brody came fully upright, sending his cigarette spinning down the
hall as he stepped forward. Robbie lowered his hands and stepped back, letting
the fight play out on even terms.
Will struck again, but Todd's hands swept his wide swing away
as he punched with his other fist into Will's stomach trying to knock the
wind out of Will. It would have worked, should have worked. Will felt the
blow, swallowed against the pain as he swung again, the force of his own punch
knocking Todd back a couple of steps.
Will swallowed as he gasped for breath, taking a step forward
to follow through, but Todd raised his hands, "Enough," he said,
as he rested a hand against the lockers.
The Englishman straightened up, and nodded, letting Todd's two
friends help him up and help him back towards the stairs.
* * *
"You did what to who?" Lisa's voice raised an octave
in complete shock.
Will gingerly touched his bruised temple, he was beginning to
ache, and his vision swam a little. He must have looked a sight, sitting in
the cafeteria, back to the wall, battered and bruised. Lisa was hovering over
him in full mother hen mode once she had seen Brody help him to his seat.
Rumour was spreading quickly, the people who passed him looked
at him with a mixture of respect and disbelief. And Will winced as he reapplied
to his head the makeshift icepack made from ice wrapped in the coarse brown
hand towels from the bathroom. He was getting a lot more attention than he
felt he merited, and it unnerved him.
"Is it true?" Charlene swept up beside Lisa clutching
her binder to her chest, looking eagerly about for confirmation to the latest
gossip, "Did you really beat Todd Gadreau up?"
Will gave her a resigned shrug as he rubbed his bruised stomach.
He felt like Todd had driven a truck over him and he simply wanted to curl
up into a ball until the pain went away. But he wasn't going to get a chance,
as more and more kids formed a semicircle behind Charlene and Lisa, all trying
to get a peek at him in this state. Like any mob, they smelled blood and blood
was exciting.
Will looked up at Lisa pleading for her to make them go away,
but even as popular as she had become, she was completely powerless over a
group this large. She shrugged helplessly at him and knelt to move the ice
pack upwards a bit.
There was a murmur from the crowd as they parted to allow a
very agitated Jared through; behind him sauntering at a casual pace, despite
the anxious look in his eyes, was Andrew. As Jared began to fire off questions
a mile-a-minute at Will, Andrew hung back beside Charlene, but he had a questioning
look in his eyes that he directed towards Will.
Will looked down at Jared and lowered the ice pack, "It
was nothing, honestly."
"Yeah, right," Jared said, pushing his raider's cap
out of his eyes as he examined the nasty bruise on the side of Will's face,
"You don't look okay."
"You should have seen the other guy," Will offered
as a feeble joke.
"We did," Andrew said breaking his silence to a murmur
of agreement from the ever-so-fickle mob who had only a few minutes before
been sneering and talking behind his back. But then, when Andrew spoke they
agreed with him. It was the sheer weight of his charisma that could sway them
in ways no one else could.
He turned to them, "Alright, everyone back to their business;
leave Carter alone." He gestured for them to leave, and as if by a royal
decree they obeyed, filing from the cafeteria murmuring amongst themselves.
Charlene hung back, feeling that her newfound association with
Lisa gave her the right to stay; popularity had its benefits after all. Andrew
flatly ignored her as usual, kneeling down on the other side of Will from
Jared and examining the injuries with open concern.
"You got into a fight with Todd Gadreau," he said
evenly, aware that they weren't alone, but he allowed the worry to seep into
his eyes.
Will shrugged, "He really needed to get something off his
chest?" Will tried a feeble attempt at a joke.
"That son of a bitch," Jared shook his head, balling
up his own fist in anger.
"It's sorted." Will said firmly, he didn't want it
to go any further; it had already gone too far.
Jared eyed him suspiciously as he looked over at Andrew. Andrew
in turn returned the look and Will leaned down, "I mean it, it's okay,
it's sorted."
He stood; getting to his feet and feeling the dull ache in his
stomach he rubbed it tenderly. He was going to feel that for a while. He picked
up the crumpled paper he had been writing only half an hour before; it honestly
felt like days before. Absolution came in many forms.
He waved off Jared's offer to help him with a friendly smile,
"I'll be fine," he said taking a step and feeling a wave of nausea
and dizziness sweep over him. He dropped the paper back down on the table
as he leaned on it for support.
Andrew's arm encircled his waist, and that warm supporting grip
helped him back to his feet. It was the closest they had been to each other
in days and Will felt Andrew's strength holding him upright and he leaned
in a bit allowing himself the support.
Jared moved to follow but Lisa caught his arm and motioned for
him to join her over at the windows. Will didn't pay them much mind as he
let Andrew help him down to his locker.
Once they were alone down by Will's locker Andrew turned Will
to face him, "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked earnestly; without
waiting for a reply he leaned in to examine the nasty bruise forming on Will's
temple.
"I'm fine," Will said trying to push Andrew back a
little, more from embarrassment over the sudden flurry of attention.
"I'll kick his ass if he touches you again," Andrew
said his voice filled with determined sincerity as he reached out his other
hand to encircle Will's waist gently.
Will shook his head again, what was it with everyone? He had
successfully defended himself and it still didn't seem to matter. They still
wanted to protect him, it was flattering and showed they cared. But Will still
felt like he could protect himself, he had after all stood up to Todd Gadreau...
But one look into Andrew's concerned eyes and he melted. The
love mixed with concern he saw reflected there couldn't be denied. Andrew
was just trying to protect him from being hurt, just like Will would do if
anyone even thought to hurt Andrew. He couldn't hold that against the boy
who loved him. No matter how much he wanted to be independent, he just had
to accept the fact that Andrew would look out for him.
He offered a lightly reassuring smile, "It's okay, you
don't have to do that. I'm fine." He reached out a finger to lift Andrew's
chin until he could see his eyes, "Honestly."
The gasp caused both to stiffen up and turn at the same time.
Will's shoulders slumped in utter defeat as Charlene stood, almost in exactly
the spot Greenwood had stood in a week before. She was clutching the english
paper Will had forgotten on the table, and she looked obviously startled at
the two of them so intimate: Will in Andrew's arms, his finger's lifting Andrew's
chin slightly.
Andrews's eyes met hers in resignation, before she vanished
like a startled rabbit up the stairs.
