CARTER'S DUTY: WILLIAM CARTER
III
Chapter 05 - By Christopher Patrick Lydon
Will found himself out on the balcony with Rafik and Jeff while
little Peter and the girls discussed the bridal arrangements. Andrew and Jared
had made a run to the beer store which left the three men who remained in
an uncomfortable silence as they stared across the road at the retirement
home that sat opposite Will's house. Both Will and Rafik realized what was
to come. The age-old ritual that men performed just before one of them got
married. It was considered the ultimate sacrifice of a friend, to be named
best man.
Jeff was unusually shy as he hesitated to ask. Normally he would
have just come right out and made the offer like he had the first time he
had announced a date shortly after Lisa had accepted the engagement. Both
of his friends had already agreed to act as witnesses, but that had been more
from courtesy than from actual commitment. When Jeff asked again things were
different; they would actually have to go through with it. They would have
to stand witness to the union.
Though, Will grinned, least he wouldn't get stuck in a tangerine
bridesmaids dress...
"I need you guys to stand for me..." he managed after
a short pause. It was a simple request, short and direct. Like Jeff was himself,
to the point.
Will had found himself nodding almost before he had known what
he had been doing. It was an automatic response that committed him to help
plan the event. He wanted to second-guess his decision immediately, but it
was too late to back out of it now. He was committed, with all the responsibility
that went along with it. So instead he simply grinned, happy to do it for
a friend.
Jeff grinned happily as he clapped Will about the shoulder and
he turned to Rafik.
Will immediately picked up on Rafik's unease, and he felt his
heart sink for Jeff. Rafik was many things, but considerate wasn't one of
them.
"I can't, man," he shook his head and extended his
hands helplessly, "I've got a deadline this week. I'll be lucky to get
Wednesday off at all. Look, I'm sorry."
It was a feeble excuse at best and it utterly crushed Jeff.
A few simple words had robbed him of his earlier happiness. His plans for
the perfect day that he had dreamt of for the past five years would have to
be rethought because of his best friend's selfishness.
Jeff didn't say a word as he wandered back into the house, his
shoulders sagged and his head bent.
Will watched him leave and rounded on Rafik. He knew Rafik well;
they had known each other since school, and out of all of them, Will was the
only one who knew Rafik well enough to understand him. Even then only Lisa
seemed to know him better, but that was because of an abortive relationship
that had gone horribly wrong. And their friendship, however strained, still
allowed Will an edge when it came to figuring out Rafik's motives.
"You upset him." Will stated the obvious; it was the
best way to start a conversation with Rafik.
"I can't help it," Rafik had gone back to leaning
over the balcony as he took the time to light a cigarette. That was always
a bad sign; Farah detested his smoking habit. She had imposed a rigid rule
that he quit shortly after the wedding, and for him to risk taking a smoke
with her in the house was a good sign of how upset he was.
Rafik always kept a pack of cigarettes at Will's. He and Jared
used Andrew as an excuse to get together at the house to watch a hockey game
and smoke. Not that Will minded, he tolerated the intrusion but refused to
join their habit. He found it simply humorous that his home was a refuge,
the last outpost of testosterone where his friends could find safe haven from
the storm of estrogen in their lives. Ironic considering it was the home of
two gay man.
Rafik seemed to believe that as long as he didn't own a packet
of cigarettes and simply "borrowed" from Jared, he didn't smoke.
The fact that he paid for the cigarettes and lit up more frequently than Jared
did was beside the point. He flatly denied being a smoker.
"So work is more important than your best friend's wedding?"
Will asked as he joined him at the rail.
Rafik seemed to grow more uncomfortable, as if he was choosing
how much to say and finally he caved. "I'm invoking the roommate clause."
The roommate clause was an age-old bond of trust that went back
to when they had shared an apartment with Jeff back when Will had first returned
to Ottawa after graduating from Kings university. Those were the days in a
cramped Sandy Hill apartment, of Kraft dinners, and of the mistakes that came
with being out in the world for the first time. It was a mutual promise that
whatever was discussed between roommates stayed between roommates and was
usually reserved for those sacred conversations, the one that could land a
roommate in serious trouble. Will had invoked it a few times over the years,
usually when he confided a secret about Andrew.
"We're not roommates anymore," Will reminded as he
leaned on the balcony, "but I can make an exception this once, what's
on your mind, old man?"
"I'm serious, man," Rafik stressed as he took another
drag on his cigarette; he was uncharacteristically anxious for some reason.
"Alright," Will said as he grew more serious. He watched
as Jared and Andrew rounded the top of the street on their return trip; they
carried a two-four between them and laughed at something or other. Will looked
over at Rafik and waited.
"I don't think they're in love." He admitted slowly,
"Not enough to get married, I don't want to be a part of it."
Will was incredulous; Rafik could be highly hypocritical at
times and opinionated about it as well. When he chose to be stubborn on an
issue he often refused to be moved even after the facts his opinion had been
based upon had been disproved. He tried to cover it by choosing his stances
carefully, but when he refused to take part in a marriage simply because he
believed there was no love involved... He obviously didn't spend enough time
in front of the mirror.
Will decided not to call him on that fact, it would be counterproductive,
instead he decided to probe the conversation, "Alright, I suppose I now
have to ask you why you think that?"
"She doesn't love him," Rafik said as he flicked the
ash off of the balcony and onto the driveway below. Will ignored the fact
that the ash fell on his Jeep. Rafik was distracted after all. Not that it
mattered; Rafik often didn't care about the effects of his actions.
"Marriage is about love," he continued after a moment,
"and from the way Lisa complains about him...She hates his temper,"
he explained, "she wants to date women, there is always something she
wants to leave him over, and now they're getting married? It's hypocritical."
He angrily flicked the butt of his cigarette out into the street and reached
for another one.
Again Will bit back a sharp retort, he had to be diplomatic.
"Well," he said after a moments thought, "I'm going to support
them whatever they choose to do."
Rafik rolled his eyes in exasperation, "I'll be at the
wedding," he lit his second cigarette in an awkward way, "I just
can't witness for it. It would be wrong to do it when I don't believe they
should be doing it in the first place."
"Fair, I suppose." Will said after a moment, he could
see Rafik's point; the young Saudi took things too seriously sometimes. To
stand before God and say he believed in a marriage when he obviously didn't
would be too much for him.
Will however had no such compunction. He had his own agreement
with the Almighty. It was an agreement to disagree on virtually everything,
but it was a workable relationship. God agreed to throw obstacles into the
road of life and Will chose to stick his finger up at religion in return.
It was a mutual understanding that since Will was damned to hell anyway he
could curse God as much as he wanted to along the way.
"Hey, buddy!" Jared called up to Will as he and Andrew
turned into the driveway. The two were old friends; they had been teammates
back on the high school hockey team. That friendship only seemed to grow stronger
over time. They were both Sen's fans, and with their team set to go to the
Stanley Cup finals that year, they were almost inseparable. Will supposed
he could have been jealous that he didn't share that connection to Andrew,
a common interest would have gone a long way to ease the relationship tension
between them. But Will couldn't get his head around the great Canadian game.
Sure he had a healthy foreigner's interest in the sport. Which
was to say he didn't understand it at all. Even after eight years of being
in the country, he still couldn't tell one play from another, or even grasp
the basic concepts of how it was played. He wondered at Andrew, he was a complication
indeed. No one else had ever managed to make him sit down to experience a
hockey game. Will couldn't get through a single period without boredom, but
he still felt as though he should try.
He glanced back at Rafik; a truly unhappy individual lay beneath
the man's exterior. A man who, despite all the material things he had in his
life, couldn't find a shred of happiness. Not because he deserved it, but
he ignored it completely when it came to him. He was a creature designed to
work. In a loveless marriage set to have children he didn't particularly want.
He hid behind material wealth with the urge to escape but steadfastly refusing
to run.
And for once Will didn't envy the ideal job or the nice car.
At least he was still able to enjoy life. That spark of life he kept inside
him enabled him to put one foot in front of the other and face the day with
hope. Rafik didn't have that; he was dead inside and miserable. Farah had
seen to that.
"We should go back inside." Will commented.
"Sure," Rafik replied as he tossed his half finished
cigarette aside and popped a super mint into his mouth. He followed Will back
to the party.
